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Avel - Chapter 11

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Avel - Chapter 11

1Although the mourning rites are not observed at all during the festival, one should rend his garments because of his dead on a festival and uncover his shoulder.1 Similarly, we bring the mourners bread of comfort during a festival.2אאַף עַל פִּי שֶׁאֵין אֲבֵלוּת בַּמּוֹעֵד, קוֹרֵעַ עַל מֵתוֹ בַּמּוֹעֵד וְחוֹלֵץ כְּתֵפוֹ, וּמַבְרִין אֶת הָאֲבֵלִים לֶחֶם בַּמּוֹעֵד.
All of the above applies during Chol HaMoed.3 On a festival, even the second day of a festival, one should not rend his garments, uncover a shoulder,4 or bring bread of comfort.5כָּל אֵלּוּ בְּחֻלּוֹ שֶׁל מּוֹעֵד; אֲבָל בְּיוֹם טוֹב, אַפִלּוּ בְּיוֹם טוֹב שֵׁנִי - אֵין קוֹרְעִין, וְלֹא חוֹלְצִין, וְלֹא מַבְרִין.
2We rend our garments and uncover our shoulders during a festival only for the relatives for whom we are obligated to mourn, for a sage, an upright person, or for a person when one was present at the time his soul expired.6באֵין קוֹרְעִין בַּמּוֹעֵד וְלֹא חוֹלְצִין, אֶלָא הַקְּרוֹבִים שֶׁחַיָּבִין בָּאֵבֶל, אוֹ הַקּוֹרֵעַ וְחוֹלֵץ עַל הֶחָכָם אוֹ עַל אָדָם כָּשֵׁר, אוֹ מִי שֶׁהָיָה עוֹמֵד בִּשְׁעַת יְצִיאַת נְשָׁמָה.
Everyone brings the meal of comfort to his colleague for a sage during a festival in the main street of the city in the way the meal of comfort is brought for mourners. For everyone is a mourner because of him.7וּמַבְרִין הַכֹּל עַל הֶחָכָם בַּמּוֹעֵד בְּתוֹךְ הָרְחָבָה, כְּדֶרֶךְ שֶׁמַּבְרִין אֶת הָאֲבֵלִים - שֶׁהַכֹּל אֲבֵלִים עָלָיו.
3When we bring mourners the meal of comfort during a festival, we serve them while they are sitting on upright couches.8 We do not recite the mourning blessing during a festival.9 We do, however, stand in a line, comfort the mourners, and take leave of them.10 we do not leave the bier in the public thoroughfare lest that encourage the delivery of a eulogy. For it is forbidden to deliver eulogies and to fast during a festival.11גכְּשֶׁמַּבְרִין אֶת הָאֲבֵלִים בַּמּוֹעֵד, אֵין מַבְרִין אֶלָא עַל מִטּוֹת זְקוּפוֹת, וְאֵין אוֹמְרִין בִּרְכַת אֲבֵלִים בַּמּוֹעֵד. אֲבָל עוֹמְדִין בַּשּׁוּרָה וּמְנַחֲמִין וּפוֹטְרִין. וְאֵין מַנִּיחִין אֶת הַמִּטָּה בָּרְחוֹב, שֶׁלֹּא לְהַרְגִּיל אֶת הַהֶסְּפֵד - שֶׁהַמּוֹעֵד אָסוּר בְּהֶסְּפֵד וְתַעֲנִית.
Similarly, one should not gather the bones of one’s father and mother12 during a festival for this evokes mourning for the person.13 Needless to say, this applies with regard to one’s other relatives.14וְכֵן אֵין מְלַקֵּט עַצְמוֹת אָבִיו וְאִמּוֹ בַּמּוֹעֵד, שֶׁאֵבֶל הוּא לוֹ; וְאֵין צָרִיךְ לוֹמַר שְׁאָר קְרוֹבִים.
Similarly, we do not eulogize the dead on Chanukah, Purim, or Rosh Chodesh.15 We do, however, observe all the rites of mourning on those days.16וְכֵן אֵין מַסְפִּידִין אֶת הַמֵּת בַּחֲנֻכָּה וּפוּרִים, וְלֹא בְּרָאשֵׁי חֳדָשִׁים, אֲבָל נוֹהֲגִין בָּהֶן כָּל דִּבְרֵי אֲבֵלוּת.
It is permitted to deliver eulogies on the days which precede and which follow Chanukah and Purim.17וּמֻתָּר לִסְפֹּד לִפְנֵי חֲנֻכָּה וּפוּרִים וּלְאַחֲרֵיהֶן.
4During a festival, the women may lament, but they do not pound their hands together in grief. On Rosh Chodesh, Chanukah, and Purim,18 they may both lament and pound their hands together in grief; they may not, however, recite dirges on any of these days.דהַנָּשִׁים בַּמּוֹעֵד, מְעַנּוֹת אֲבָל לֹא מְטַפְּחוֹת; וּבְרָאשֵׁי חֳדָשִׁים וַחֲנֻכָּה וּפוּרִים, מְעַנּוֹת וּמְטַפְּחוֹת. אֲבָל אֵין מְקוֹנְנוֹת, לֹא בְּזֶה וְלֹא בְּזֶה.
Once the dead has been buried, they should neither lament, nor pound their hands together.נִקְבַּר הַמֵּת, לֹא מְעַנּוֹת וְלֹא מְטַפְּחוֹת.
5What is meant by lamenting? That all raise their voices in mourning together. By reciting dirges? That one recites a dirge and all respond in lament, as implied by Jeremiah 9:19: “to teach your daughters mourning and a woman, her friends, a dirge.”האֵי זֶהוּ עִנּוּי? שֶׁכֻּלָּן עוֹנוֹת כְּאַחַת. קִינָה? שֶׁאַחַת אוֹמֶרֶת וְכֻלָּן עוֹנוֹת אַחֲרֶיהָ, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר "וְלַמֵּדְנָה בְנוֹתֵיכֶם נֶהִי וְאִשָּׁה רְעוּתָהּ קִינָה" (ירמיהו ט, יט).
When do all the above restrictions apply? When ordinary people die. When, however, a Torah scholar dies, he is eulogized19 during a festival. Needless to say, this applies on Chanukah, Purim, and Rosh Chodesh. This does not apply on the second day of a holiday.בַּמֶּה דְּבָרִים אֲמוּרִים? בִּשְׁאָר הָעָם שֶׁמֵּתוּ. אֲבָל תַּלְמִיד חָכָם שֶׁמֵּת - סוֹפְדִין אוֹתוֹ בַּמּוֹעֵד, וְאֵין צָרִיךְ לוֹמַר בַּחֲנֻכָּה וּפוּרִים וְרָאשֵׁי חֳדָשִׁים, אֲבָל לֹא בְּיוֹם טוֹב שֵׁנִי.
On the days when a eulogy is permitted, it is permitted only in the deceased’s presence. Once he is buried, a eulogy is forbidden. On the day when one hears a report of his death, it is as if one is in his presence and he may be eulogized even if it is a distant report.20וְאֵין סוֹפְדִין אוֹתוֹ בְּיָמִים אֵלּוּ, אֶלָא בְּפָנָיו. נִקְבַּר, אֲסוּרִין בְּהֶסְּפֵד. וְיוֹם שְׁמוּעָתוֹ - כְּפָנָיו הוּא, וְסוֹפְדִין אוֹתוֹ, אַף עַל פִּי שֶׁהִיא רְחוֹקָה.
6A woman21 should not have a eulogy recited for a deceased person22 within 30 days so that the festival will not arrive when they are grieving.23 For a deceased person will not be forgotten in less than 30 days.ולֹא תְּעוֹרֵר אִשָּׁה עַל מֵת שֶׁלָּהּ שְׁלוֹשִׁים יוֹם קֹדֶם לֶחָג, כְּדֵי שֶׁלֹּא יָבוֹא הֶחָג, וְהֵם דָּוִין; שֶׁאֵין הַמֵּת מִשְׁתַּכֵּחַ מִן הַלֵּב שְׁלוֹשִׁים יוֹם.
When does the above apply? With regard to a person who died previously. If, however, a person died within 30 days of a festival, a eulogy may be recited.24בַּמֶּה דְּבָרִים אֲמוּרִים? בְּמֵת יָשָׁן; אֲבָל אִם מֵת בְּתוֹךְ שְׁלוֹשִׁים יוֹם סָמוּךְ לֶחָג - מְעוֹרֶרֶת.
7The seven days of the wedding celebrations are comparable to a festival.25 Thus if a close relative of a person - even his father or mother - dies in the middle of these days of celebration, he should complete the seven days of celebration and then observe the seven days of mourning.26 He also counts the 30 days of mourning from the conclusion of the days of celebration.27זשִׁבְעַת יְמֵי הַחַתְנוּת, הֲרֵי הֵן כְּרֶגֶל. וּמִי שֶׁמֵּת לוֹ מֵת בְּתוֹךְ יְמֵי הַמִּשְׁתֶּה, אַפִלּוּ אָבִיו וְאִמּוֹ - מַשְׁלִים יְמֵי הַשִּׂמְחָה, וְאַחַר כָּךְ נוֹהֵג שִׁבְעַת יְמֵי אֲבֵלוּת. וּמוֹנֶה הַשְּׁלוֹשִׁים מֵאַחַר יְמֵי הַשִּׂמְחָה.
8The following rules apply when one prepared all the necessities for the wedding feast, baked his bread, slaughtered his animals to enter the celebration, and then one of his close relatives died before he began the celebration. If he did not place the meat in water,28 he should sell the meat and the bread, observe the seven days of mourning, and then observe the seven days of the wedding celebrations.29חהֵכִין כָּל צָרְכֵּי הַסְעוּדָה וְאָפָה פִּתּוֹ וְטָבַח טִבְחוֹ כְּדֵי שֶׁיִּכָּנְסוּ לַשִּׂמְחָה, וּמֵת לוֹ מֵת קֹדֶם שֶׁיִּכָּנְסוּ לַשִּׂמְחָה: אִם לֹא נָתַן מַיִם עַל גַּבֵּי בָּשָׂר - מוֹכֵר הַבָּשָׂר וְהַפַּת, וְנוֹהֵג שִׁבְעַת יְמֵי אֲבֵלוּת; וְאַחַר כָּךְ נוֹהֵג שִׁבְעַת יְמֵי הַמִּשְׁתֶּה.
If he already placed the meat in water - in which instance, it cannot be resold - the corpse is placed inside a room30 and the groom and the bride are taken to the wedding canopy. Afterwards, he should engage in the marital relations which are a mitzvah,31 and then separate from his wife.32 He should observe the seven days of celebration and then the seven days of mourning.וְאִם נָתַן מַיִם עַל גַּבֵּי בָּשָׂר, שֶׁהֲרֵי אִי אֶפְשָׁר לִמְכֹּר אוֹתוֹ - מַכְנִיסִין אֶת הַמֵּת לַחֶדֶר, וְאֶת הֶחָתָן וְאֶת הַכַּלָּה לַחֻפָּה, וּבוֹעֵל בְּעִילַת מִצְוָה וּפוֹרֵשׁ. וְנוֹהֵג שִׁבְעַת יְמֵי הַמִּשְׁתֶּה, וְאַחַר כָּךְ נוֹהֵג שִׁבְעַת יְמֵי אֲבֵלוּת.
Throughout the seven days of celebration, he must observe the private aspects of the laws of mourning as is required on the Sabbath.33 Therefore he should sleep together with other men and his wife should sleep with other women so that they do not engage in relations.34 For these 30 days, the bride should not be prevented from wearing jewelry.35וְנוֹהֵג שִׁבְעַת יְמֵי הַמִּשְׁתֶּה, וְאַחַר כָּךְ נוֹהֵג שִׁבְעַת יְמֵי אֲבֵלוּת. וְכָל אוֹתָן הַיָּמִים, נוֹהֵג בִּדְבָרִים שֶׁבְּצִנְעָה כַּשַּׁבָּת. לְפִיכָךְ הוּא יָשֵׁן בֵּין הָאֲנָשִׁים וְהִיא יְשֵׁנָה בֵּין הַנָּשִׁים, כְּדֵי שֶׁלֹּא יְשַׁמֵּשׁ מִטָּתוֹ. וְאֵין מוֹנְעִין תַּכְשִׁיטִין מִן הַכַּלָּה כָּל שְׁלוֹשִׁים יוֹם.
In a place where it is possible to sell the meat even though it was placed in water, it should be sold and the mourning period observed first. In a place where it is impossible to sell the meat even though it was not placed in water, the wedding celebrations should be observed first.הָיוּ בִּמְקוֹם שֶׁאֶפְשָׁר לִמְכֹּר הַבָּשָׂר, אַף עַל פִּי שֶׁנָּתַן עָלָיו מַיִם - מוֹכֵר, וְנוֹהֵג אֲבֵלוּת תְּחִלָּה. הָיוּ בְּמָקוֹם שֶׁאִי אֶפְשָׁר לִמְכֹּר הַבָּשָׂר אַף עַל פִּי שֶׁלֹּא נָתַן עָלָיו מַיִם - נוֹהֵג שִׁבְעַת יְמֵי הַמִּשְׁתֶּה תְּחִלָּה.
When does the above apply?36 When the father of the groom or the mother of the bride die. For if this feast is spoiled, they have no one to work to prepare another for them. If, however, the father of the bride, the mother of the groom, or other relatives die, one should observe the mourning period first. Only afterwards, should he enter the marriage canopy and observe the seven days of wedding celebrations.37בַּמֶּה דְּבָרִים אֲמוּרִים? בְּשֶׁמֵּת אָבִיו שֶׁל חָתָן אוֹ אִמָּהּ שֶׁל כַּלָּה, שֶׁאִם יַפְסִידוּ סְעוּדָה זוֹ אֵין לָהֶם מִי שֶׁיִּטְרַח לָהֶם. אֲבָל אִם מֵת אָבִיהָ שֶׁל כַּלָּה אוֹ אִמּוֹ שֶׁל חָתָן, אוֹ שְׁאָר קְרוֹבֵיהֶם - נוֹהֲגִין שִׁבְעַת יְמֵי הָאֵבֶל תְּחִלָּה, וְאַחַר כָּךְ תִּכָּנֵס לַחֻפָּה וְיִנְהֲגוּ שִׁבְעַת יְמֵי הַמִּשְׁתֶּה.

Quiz Yourself on Avel - Chapter 11

Footnotes
1.

See Chapter 8, Halachot 1 and 3.

2.

See Chapter 4, Halachah 9.

3.

See the Ramah (Yoreh De’ah 340:31) which mentions that there are communities where one rends his garments only for his father and mother on Chol HaMoed.

4.

Although the dead may be buried on a festival - on the first day, by gentiles, and on the second day, by Jews (Hilchot Sh’vitat Yom Tov 1:23) - we may perform only those activities involved with his actual burial. Rending one’s garments is for the sake of the living. Hence, since it involves the performance of forbidden labor, it is not permitted on the holidays - even on the second day of the festival (Radbaz). And since it is not performed on the holidays, we postpone it until after the festival has past entirely (Mishneh LiMelech; Magen Avraham 547:3).

5.

Rabbi Akiva Eiger notes that on the conclusion of the previous chapter, the Rambam states that if a person buries his dead on the second day of a festival, he is obligated to mourn. Yet as stated in this halachah, a meal of comfort is not served on a festival. Thus the implication is that mourning is more severe. Hence one would think that just as one does not mourn during Chol HaMoed, one would not serve a meal of comfort. The requirement to do so implies that serving the meal of comfort is in a different category; it resembles a eulogy.

6.

I.e., we do not rend our garments for those dead for whom we observe some mourning rites as an expression of honor for the living, e.g., one’s in-laws.

7.

Since the entire community must mourn for him, each one brings food for another. The meal are exchanged in the main street of the city, as can be inferred from Ketubot 8b.

8.

In contrast to the ordinary practice where a mourner sits on an overturned or low chair. See Chapter 4, Halachah 9.

9.

Many interpret the term “mourning blessing” a s referring to the blessing given the mourners by one of the leading members of the community when they return from the funeral as related by Ketubot 5b. Since this blessing is recited in a public place, it is not appropriate for it to be recited during a festival lest it reduce the festive spirit (Radbaz).
Kin ‘at Eliyahu notes that in Chapter 13 where the Rambam describes the comforting of the mourners after the funeral, he does not mention this blessing. And in Chapter 12, Halachah 7, he states that the term refers to blessings given “in the house of a mourner.” See the notes to that halachah for additional explanation.

10.

See Chapter 13, Halachah 1. Ordinarily, the mourners would be accompanied by members of the company. This, however, is not appropriate during a festival: See Mo’ed Kattan 27a.

11.

For the charge “And you shall rejoice in your festivals” also applies to Chol HaMoed and these activities will not lead to increased rejoicing.

12.

I.e., gathering them from where they are buried to rebury them in another place.

13.

Collecting their bones brings back memories of their passing.

14.

One has an obligation to honor his parents. Although that obligation is outweighed by the happiness of the festival, it remains a factor of importance. One does not have an obligation to honor his other relatives. Hence there is no reason why he should think that he should incur the sorrow of moving their remains during a festival.

15.

Although these days are not festivals according to Scriptural Law, they are days of happiness and it is inappropriate to reduce that happiness by eulogies.

16.

The Radbaz and the Kessef Mishneh quote the Tur who states that on Purim, we observe only the private aspects of the mourning laws (as on the Sabbath). The rulings of the Shulchan Aruch on this subject appear contradictory. Orach Chayim 696:4 rules that the full mourning rites should be observed, while Yoreh De’ah 401:7 rules that only the private dimensions of these rites should be observed. Differences of opinion persist among the later authorities as well. AII authorities agree that, in contrast to Scriptural festivals, Purim - and similarly, Chanukah - do not nullify the obligation to mourn.

17.

Ta’anit 17b states that it is forbidden to eulogize on the days before the dates mentioned in “the scroll of fasts,” i.e., dates which were commemorated as minor holidays in the Talmudic era. Among those dates were Chanukah and Purim. Rosh HaShanah 18b states: “The scroll of fasts was nullified,” i.e., we no longer are bound by the restrictions mentioned there. Although Rosh HaShanah 19b states that this does not apply to Chanukah and Purim, this refers only to Chanukah and Purim themselves, and not to the days that precede or follow these holidays (Kessef Mishneh).

18.

When there is no Scriptural obligation to rejoice, however, according to Rabbinic Law, they are days of happiness.

19.

Similarly, women may lament and recite dirges [Shulchan Aruch (Yoreh De’ah 401:5)].

20.

I.e., the sage died more than 30 days previously.

21.

Needless to say, this also applies to a man. The Rambam mentions women because they are more likely to arrange such an event (Radbaz).

22.

Our translation is based on the Rambam’s Commentary to the Mishnah (Mo’ed Kattan 1:5). There - and in greater detail in Hilchot Sh’vitat Yom Tov 6:24 - the Rambam elaborates on the rationale for this restriction. To quote Hilchot Sh’vitat Yom Tov: “So that the festival will not arrive when he is sad and his heart is grieved and hurting because of the memory of his agony. Instead he should remove grieving from his heart and direct his attention toward joy.”

23.

The Kessef Mishneh explains that this refers to the eulogies recited in the Talmudic era which were accompanied by loud lamenting and wails of grief. At present, when the eulogies are more controlled, these restrictions do not apply.

24.

For when the death is so close, an expression of mourning will lead to a catharsis of one’s grief and enable one to approach the festival with joy.

25.

See Hilchot Ishut 10:12 which states that a man who marries a virgin bride should celebrate with her for seven days. Just as the mourning laws are not observed during a festival, they should not be observed during these days.
The commentaries question: According to the Rambam, the obligation to mourn on the first day is Scriptural in origin, while the obligation to rejoice with one’s bride is Rabbinic. How could our Sages require that their decree be observed when it prevents the observance of a Scriptural commandment?
Rabbenu Nissim (in his gloss to Ketubot 3:2) offers the resolution that our Sages have the power to nullify a Scriptural commandment as long as a person does not perform a deed. Hence on the day of the burial, a person should not celebrate, but he should not mourn. The Radbaz explains that in this instance our Sages are given the license for they are not abrogating the mitzvah of mourning entirely; they are merely postponing it to a later date.

26.

As is required when a person’s relative dies in the midst of a festival (Chapter 10, Halachah 8).
In contrast to the situation mentioned in the following halachah, in this instance, one need not refrain from marital relations because of the laws of mourning. (This may, however, be necessary because of the niddah laws.)

27.

The Ra’avad objects to the Rambam’s ruling, questioning why the seven days of the wedding celebrations are not considered within the 30 days of mourning. After all, the Rambam states (ibid.) that when a person buries his dead during a festival, he counts the 30 days of mourning from the time of the burial.
The Ramban [cited by the Radbaz and the Tur (Yoreh De’ah 342)] explains that during a festival, a person observes some of the restrictions of the 30 days of mourning, for - as a measure of respect to the festival - he may not cut his hair or iron his clothes. Hence, these days can be included in the sum of the 30. With regard to the seven days of the wedding celebrations, by contrast, none of the mourning restrictions must be observed. Hence, the 30 days are counted after their conclusion.

28.

I.e., begin preparing to cook it.

29.

The Ra’avad objects: Since the wedding is being postponed, why is it not postponed for 30 days so that the full mourning rites will be observed? The Ramban [cited by the Kessef Mishneh and the Tur (Yoreh De’ah 342)] explains that since the wedding preparations have already been made and the couple’s expectations have been aroused, it is not proper to postpone the wedding for such an extended period.

30.

For if the burial would be held first, there would be a Scriptural obligation to mourn and it would be improper to hold the wedding (Kessef Mishneh).

31.

This term is used to describe the first time a couple engage in relations, for this union enables them to fulfill the mitzvah of procreation.

32.

And not engage in relations further.

33.

See Chapter 10, Halachah 1.

34.

Compare to Hilchot Issurei Bi’ah 22:1. Since they are just married and an external factor is preventing them from engaging in relations, this extra dimension of vigilance is required.

35.

Lest she appear unattractive to her husband.

36.

I.e., when do we grant the leniency to allow the wedding celebration to be held first.

37.

In practice, the matter is dependent on local custom. There are certain communities where it is not customary to postpone a wedding even though relatives died beforehand and others, which are more strict in observing the mourning prohibitions. When such a problem arises, people should contact a competent Rabbinical authority familiar with the local custom.

The Mishneh Torah was the Rambam's (Rabbi Moses ben Maimon) magnum opus, a work spanning hundreds of chapters and describing all of the laws mentioned in the Torah. To this day it is the only work that details all of Jewish observance, including those laws which are only applicable when the Holy Temple is in place. Participating in one of the annual study cycles of these laws (3 chapters/day, 1 chapter/day, or Sefer Hamitzvot) is a way we can play a small but essential part in rebuilding the final Temple.
Download Rambam Study Schedules: 3 Chapters | 1 Chapter | Daily Mitzvah
Rabbi Eliyahu Touger is a noted author and translator, widely published for his works on Chassidut and Maimonides.
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Vowelized Hebrew text courtesy Torat Emet under CC 2.5 license.
The text on this page contains sacred literature. Please do not deface or discard.