Chana's Note: I felt that this article so accurately described the connection—and obsession—many of us have with our work. But most importantly, it challenges us with one of the greatest difficulties of modern times: Can you "be present", "in the moment" and totally focused on whatever it is that you are (or should be) doing at any given time?
Anyone who knows me, either professionally or personally, knows I am a workaholic. It is not unusual for me to start answering emails at 7:00 am when my kids get up and continue until 3:00 am when I finally go to sleep. Don't get me wrong, I don't work the whole way through. I have no problem taking a break to have lunch with a friend, get a manicure, or a variety of other non-work related things. But ultimately, because I have no set hours and no boundaries, I seem to always be working.
This is about to change. And I am not sure how I feel about that. We are heading to Vermont for a month. Myself, my husband and our four kids. We are going to be staying in a beautiful renovated farmhouse in a very rural area. And ready for this? There will be no internet access nor cell phone reception in the house! And I am petrified.
It is not that I won't be online daily. I will be. I need to be. Afterall, I am the editor of TheJewishWoman.org. My job is to be online. But it is not just about that. I can rationalize how badly I need to be online to work, and I do, but if I am honest, it is much more than that. Is my work my job, or is it my escape from my life? Do I work so hard because I need to or because I want to? In many ways, it is the one area, the one thing I can control in my life. But in reality, I think it ends up controlling me.
I will need to be completely present in my life The thought of endless hours in the evening without checking email, looking at my Facebook account or reading the news, is actually not a relaxing thought. It makes me nervous. It means I will need to be present, completely present, in my life and not my virtual life. And that is scary to me.
My kids can't wait. They feel that they compete with a computer for my attention. And unfortunately they are right all too often. My computer and I are close. We have a real bond, a real understanding. But I think our relationship is just too intense. We need a break. It is time for a breather. And though I am not sure I am ready for it, I know it is what is necessary. So for the next month, our relationship will be more limited. It will be more restricted. And I am sure I will miss it. Though I doubt it will miss me. But hopefully, if I utilize this break properly, it will allow me to connect to those I love in a more powerful way. It will force me to stop escaping and to start focusing. And it will hopefully result in my becoming a better friend, a better mother, a better wife, a better editor and a better me. Wish me luck. When I can get online, I'll let you know how it is going!
