Women in the Synagogue

Question:

Rabbi, you’ve done the gender-exclusion thing long enough. What may have been OK for ancient Babylonia and medieval Europe just won’t cut it in today’s world of gender equity and affirmative action.

Let’s start with your bastion institution of the synagogue. How much longer do you imagine keeping it a men’s club? How much longer do you expect the ladies to stay in the peanut gallery? How much longer will the high point of your spiritual ritual—the reading from the Torah scroll—continue to exclude the fair voices of 50% of your membership?

Rabbi, change is knocking on your door, and it’s time to let her in—before the whole building collapses.

Answer:

Change? How about if we adapt instead?

Ever heard Dr. Velvel Green’s sci-fi story of the Great Meltdown? It goes like this: Some nuclear testing results in a rapid meltdown of the polar ice cap. Scientists warn the world that they have only three weeks left before the entire planet is submerged. Catholics run to Rome for salvation, Muslims to Mecca, Americans to their TV sets, etc. Meantime, a throng of Jews gathers in Brooklyn, where a certain rabbi is just concluding the afternoon prayer. He turns to the microphone array and says, “Yidden! We have three weeks to learn to live underwater!"

This is the difference between changing and adapting. To change means to surrender—to give up who you are because the circumstances seem so much more powerful than you. To adapt means to come to a better understanding of who you are and how you are able to meet this challenge.

A Brief, Skip-it-if-you-like, Introduction to Change Versus Adaptation

Each time we adapt to change, we learn more about who we are. Each time we surrender to change, we surrender that power of being who we are. Without a clear identity and cut off from our source, we become impotent, less radical—less capable of effecting real change.

Change is what Torah is all aboutChange can be good (if you know anyone who would like to change places with our shul president, please let us know, ASAP). After all, change is what Torah is all about. Changing people’s minds. Changing how things are done. Changing the world—into something more wondrous, more glowing, more transparent to its essence. And how have we gone about effecting those deep, radical changes in our world very successful over the past 3,700 years? Basically, by staying the same.

Actually, your argument for change would have been a much stronger one earlier in history. Let’s say we were living in the times of the Temple in Jerusalem, and you would challenge me, saying, "Why do you people have to do everything so differently than everyone else?" Then I would have had to respond principally out of faith. As in, “Well, G‑d said so, so it’s got to be right."

By now, however, we have the largest sample in clinical history of trial and observation under every possible social, geographical, economical, political and military condition. Each time, everywhere, anywhere and anytime, Torah worked. “Hey!" the brain says, “There’s got to be something to it!"

There is. Torah doesn’t belong to any time, system, society or circumstance. It’s from outside the system. So it works everywhere.

Adaptation brings us closer to our essence. When we moved from nomadic society to agrarian to glorious civilization to exile to less glorious civilization to Hellenization to mercantile province to exile again to practically everywhere and everything to industrialization to pop society and now to life in cyberspace—each time we come to a deeper understanding of ourselves and of our Torah.

So, too, today’s challenge of the rise of the feminine in society, perhaps the most significant trend of the past 400 years. Suddenly, mysteries are brought to light that would previously pass unnoticed.

Take our behavior in shul (that’s what we call it. We’ve got to get past this Greek antiquity “synagogue" thing). You describe this behavior as somewhat of an anachronism; this is an insightful observation. We definitely are not part of the present. Put an anthropologist in our shul, and he won’t have any clue which era he’s in (until Horowitz's nuisance smartphone starts playing its ridiculous tunes, that is.) Where you err is in your implication that we belong to some era of the past. This is patently false. There was never a time when Jewish practice was in sync with the times. Not in medieval Europe and certainly not anywhere in the ancient world.

When everyone else was having a wild time with goddesses, priestesses, sirens and oracles, do you think it was cool and with-it to have a male-only line-up for our Temple services? In that regard, it would have been the dullest show of its genre were it not for the fantastic daily miracle show and a great soundtrack from the (all-male again) Levite orchestra. Definitely an anomaly then, even more than now.

All those guidelines of prayer are to teach men how to pray like a woman!But there is something very deep about it. Something very resilient. Something that perhaps we still don’t fully understand. So before we take out the knife and scalpel, let’s just examine that mystery a little further. Would you pave a highway through a giant redwood forest before you’ve understood its underlying ecology? We're dealing here with a system of the same order and deeper.

Back to the Question

You brought up prayer and the all-male minyan. Yes, women can attend services, but all the dominant roles are handed to the men. And they stand on the other side of a partition or upstairs in the gallery. You don’t know just how enigmatic this is. In fact, it is bewildering. Mysterious. Astonishing. Let me explain why:

How do we know how to pray? Most of the guidelines for prayer, we learned from a lady named Chana who lived about 3,000 years ago, before the First Temple was built. That’s right, Chana was a woman. Chana came to the Tabernacle in Shiloh—the precursor of the Temple in Jerusalem—and prayed for a child. She prayed quietly, her lips moving but her voice audible only to her own ears. She poured out her heart and demanded from G‑d that He change the natural order of things for her sake. That He grant her not just any son, but a very righteous one, a special one. In return, she would dedicate his life to holy things.

All along, the High Priest of the Tabernacle (his name was Eli) kept an eye on this lady. Then he went over to her and accused her of attending Temple service while inebriated.

(Imagine that: A woman performs the ultimate prayer that becomes the model and ideal for all future generations, and a man who spends his day in holy activities surrounded by spiritual rituals and filled with spiritual wisdom mistakes her for a drunk! We’ll deal with this later.)

At any rate, Chana tells him off quite respectfully by describing the bitterness of her soul that she is “pouring out before G‑d." Eli takes her words seriously, blesses her, and a year later, Shmuel the prophet is born.

From the story of Chana, the sages of the Talmud learn many things. Including:

1) Prayer is a quiet act.

2) You still have to move your lips (and hear yourself).

3) Prayer is done by pouring out your soul.

4) Crying could only help matters.

5) You can make deals with the Boss.

6) If you beg hard enough, He may even break the rules for you.

7) Don’t drink and pray.

In fact, the sages were so enamored with Chana’s prayer, they composed the Amidah (also called Shmoneh Esreh or "Eighteen Blessings"—the mainstay Jewish prayer) using 113 words for all the blessings, just because there were 113 words in Chana’s prayer. Now if that isn't gilding it in gold, what is?

Do you get it? All those guidelines of prayer are to teach men how to pray like a woman!

After all, why did Chana look to Eli (a man) like a drunk? Because her emotions poured out unconstrained. Men have a hard time with that, much harder than women, even when those men really are drunk. The whole modality of prayer is a female thing: Men don’t like to cry, to admit helplessness, to express their inner selves and discuss their true needs. These are things we generally associate with women. And, by the way, men especially don’t do these things when there are women around. So the guidelines of prayer have to create a framework in which men can do all this.

In terms of multiple intelligence theory, prayer is a semantic thing. And the semantic mind—communicating, connecting, emoting—is where women rule. (Men, on the other hand, excel in symbolic intelligence—mastering abstractions through well-defined symbols. We’ll get to that later.)

So, too, you will find that in the Bible, song is generally a female thing. When the men sang to celebrate the crossing of the Red Sea, the women one-upped them whipping out cymbals and dancing, too. The two all-time hit songs of the prophets are the song of Devorah and the song of Chana. Even King Solomon’s Song of Songs is set in two voices of a man and a woman, with the woman’s voice predominant.

Prayer is feminine, but temples are masculineLet’s look at Kabbalah. Kabbalah is traditional Jewish theology. Consistently, you will find the Kabbalists describing the entire cosmos as a dynamic balance of the masculine and feminine elements and energies.

In Kabbalah, prayer is considered to lie in the feminine element. The Mother Of All Life strives to return Above, carrying all her world along with her.1

The feminine element is called by our sages “the Shechinah," meaning an indwelling or presence. How G‑dliness invests itself within the creation to give it life and existence. In the language of Kabbalah, this is called “Malchut," meaning royalty. You’ll also hear it called, “the Queen," “the Divine Word," “the cosmic soul" and "the permeating light." All refer to an immanence, as G‑dliness is found within all things.

When we speak, on the other hand, of G‑d as “He"—“the Holy One, Blessed be He," “the Father," “the Encompassing Light" and such—we are speaking of G‑dliness as it is transcendent and beyond. This is the masculine element.

We say that “G‑d is one and His name is one"—meaning that these two elements are only two modalities of a single entity that cannot be known or grasped in any form. Prayer, however, is a drama whereby the feminine element feels a separation and strives to mend it.

Now you can see it’s not just puzzling; it’s downright bizarre. Song and prayer is principally a woman’s thing, yet the shul is the domain of men!

Organized Religion

Of course, the difficulty is only if you insist that the shul is all about prayer. But it isn’t.

The shul is a very good place for prayer (well, it would be, if old man Goldberg weren’t always driving everyone nuts with his hurry to get to the last kaddish), but that’s not what it is. What it is is a miniature clone of the original “Beit Hamikdash"—the Temple that once stood in Jerusalem, may it soon be rebuilt. That Temple was also a great place to pour out your heart in prayer. But no one ever suggested that prayer is its exclusive theme. The central theme of the Temple is something related, but quite different: That space should be holy.

Here again is that balance I was talking about—the masculine and the feminine. Prayer is feminine, but temples are masculine.

Let’s go back to that story of Chana in the Tabernacle. Chana also thought the Tabernacle was a great place to pray. And her prayer proved, in fact, to be quite efficacious (it worked). But—hold it!—only after a brief meeting with Eli. And only after receiving his blessing.

Eli, you recall, was the High Priest, the Mr. Holiness of the Tabernacle operation. He was also the man who mistook Chana for a drunk. How does a holy man, steeped in the Divine mysteries of the Temple service, only two generations removed from Mount Sinai (Aaron—>Pinchas—>Eli), how could he possibly mistake the ultimate prayer for its diametric opposite—a drunken stupor? After all, a man such as Eli sees with more than his flesh eyes.

So you have to keep in mind that Eli was running a tight operation here. A Holy Tabernacle. Where services run seven days a week, 365 days a year, always on schedule, always strictly by the book, precisely choreographed and tightly supervised. Got a sin-offering? Here are the rules. A guilt-offering? Different set of rules. Just want to show your thanks and appreciation to the Almighty? You better follow the rules for that one as well, or else you’ll be back to the sin and guilt package.

There are morning offerings, afternoon offerings and evening smoke-pillars. Sure, there’s the music and colorful festivals as well, but all go by the book. That tight choreography is meant as a vehicle for inspired action, meditative focus, cleaving of the soul to its Divine Source in sublime ecstasy, but don’t let any of that disturb the underlying order.

I’ll give you an example: When it comes to the instructions for the lighting of the Golden Menorah in the tabernacle, the Torah tells us, "And Aaron did just what G‑d told Moses he should do."2 And, the sages comment, this is praising Aaron, that he didn’t make any changes.

Hold it: This is Aaron, brother of Moses, the first and ultimate High Priest of all time. He’s going to make changes in G‑d’s explicit instructions? This is how you praise Aaron, that he follows the rules?

Yes. Because Aaron understood and was eminently conscious of all the implications of this service in worlds spiritually higher and higher and way beyond our own, all the way up to the Infinite Light. He saw the connection between these lamps that he lit and how they drew that supernal, unbounded light down through all those worlds to enlighten and elevate megahosts of angels, seraphim, souls, you-name-it, all the way down to the world he was standing in. At the time he performed the lighting ceremony, he was in a deep meditative state, pondering all this, his heart pounding, his soul soaring above and his mind on the verge of explosion. Now imagine sticking to the instructions in such a state.

But that’s how Aaron understood his mission: To contain that fire in a hi-definition, earthly performance. And so did Eli.

Even the ultimate prayer is not good enough aloneIn Kabbalistic terms, Eli’s job was to fit unbounded light into an order of time and space. Spontaneous outbursts and outpouring of the soul was just not part of his world.3

It may have been in an earlier time. And it certainly was in the times of King David—his psalms reveal a soul of explosive, uncontainable passion. But it seems that in the time of Eli a bit of decadence had set in. The balance of passion and order had been lost with a preponderance of regulated, predictable ritual. Too much containment, not enough light—as the Kabbalists would put it.4

So Eli says to Chana, “You’re drunk." And she enlightens him a little, brings back memories of how things are really supposed to be. And he gets it. So he gives Chana a blessing. And then, only then, does the prayer work.

Why? We understand why Eli needs Chana. But why does Chana need Eli? Isn’t her prayer good enough without him? Apparently not. Apparently, even the ultimate prayer is not good enough alone. Because prayer alone is a rocket ship without a landing mechanism. And what goes up must come down.

Traffic Control

Remember Jacob’s ladder? Jacob slept at the place where the Temple was eventually to be built. In his dream, he saw a ladder firmly grounded on the earth and reaching up to the heavens. Angels climbed up the ladder to heaven while others returned down to earth.

The Zohar tells us this ladder is the ladder of prayer. A two-way express conduit connecting the earth with the heavens and the heavens with earth.

First, you go up. All the way up. Prayer, like everything else Jewish, is a gambit to break out of the system. Better: To break the system out of its system. To take all the concerns of daily life and raise them higher and higher to a place that has none of the limitations of the system. A place where anything and everything could happen, where an entirely new direction of events could be authored. To reach to the Author of the system and get Him to create a “new will"—like we say in so many of our prayers, Yehi ratzon milfanecha... “May it be Your will (literally: May a will come into being from before You) that ... "

A new will? There’s nothing new under the sun, said wise Solomon. So if you want to create a new will and really change things, you’ve got to reach higher than the sun.

Which is just where the ladder of prayer reaches: Beyond the sun. Beyond the whole system. That’s where Chana climbed in her prayer—all the way to the top of that ladder. And her whole life changed from it. Which is why the best we can do is to emulate her.

But she still needed Eli’s blessing. Because a blessing does something a prayer cannot. True, a blessing doesn’t reach as high as prayer. A blessing doesn’t create anything new, either. But a blessing captures that new will created up in heaven, gives it substance, packages and shrink wraps it, and brings it to a safe landing down on earth.

That is what the shul is about. Like Aaron lighting the menorah, the shul is a place to bring spirituality within time, space and words. That’s why you try to say your prayers there, if you can. Because prayers said there have a better chance of bearing fruit. Of making a safe landing.

Bipolar Order

" ... because at the foundation and origin of the entire Torah lie two ideas: To lift the soul beyond its embodiment, higher and higher until the essence and origin of all worlds; and also to draw downward the Light of the Infinite One, may He be blessed, upon the Source of All Souls [the Shechinah] ... "
— Tanya, chapter 32.

The female role is, principally, to discover the heaven hiding within time and space, and set it freeTorah is full of this two-way process. The Temple had Kohanim working (order, drawing down) while Levites were singing (inspiration, climbing up). The Jewish people were led out of Egypt by Moses (who brought the Torah down) and Aaron (who brought the people up). Our legal system is a resolution and harmony of the school of Hillel (down to earth) and the school of Shammai (up to heaven). We have study of Torah (bringing G‑dly wisdom down to earth) and performance of mitzvahs (bringing earthly things up to heaven). In a Torah family, you have a mother (who tells you who you are) and a father (who is supposed to tell you how to be that).

In most general terms, this is the division of roles between men and women. The male role is principally to capture the unbounded, spiritual light of heaven and bring it within an earthly world of space, time and human grasp. The female role is, principally, to discover the heaven hiding within time and space, and set it free.

That is why the Torah frees women from most time-bound responsibilities, such as tefillin, tzitzit, reciting the "Shema Yisrael" on time at strictly set times twice daily, making it to the minyan on time three times a day, etc. Because organizing and packaging G‑dliness into time slots is a male thing. Women are already very tied up with time and its cycles. Their role lies more in opening these packages up and extending them beyond time. The woman is the Mother of Life who unpackages life and nurtures it. She is the one who takes the present and ensures it will have a future. Where a man deals with the present, a woman deals with eternity.

Two Hemispheres

That is why the Torah does not discuss a man and a woman as two distinct entities, but as a single whole. "And G‑d created the Adam in His image, male and female He created them."5 The Divine image is neither male nor female but the synthesis of both. In the world of Torah, a man or a woman alone is half a person. Not just in soul, but in body as well.

When G‑d says, "Be fruitful and multiply," He is speaking to Adam as a whole.6 Only that the male half of the Adam gets involved in his male way and the female half in a very different (and somewhat more significant) way. So, too, with every precept of the Torah. G‑d says, "Wrap on those tefillin!" He is speaking to the whole Adam. But which arm do those tefillin go on? On the left arm of the male half of the single male-female body. After all, why should one body wear two pairs of tefillin?

This also explains another distinction between gender roles in Torah: Where the man has a command to do a mitzvah, the woman often has a mitzvah, but no command. Like in this mitzvah of having babies (which happens to be the first mitzvah in the Torah). The way our tradition reads it, the man is commanded. G‑d tells him he must procreate. The woman is not commanded. It’s optional. And yet, she has nine months of the mitzvah, plus most of the nurturing. Not much room to compare there.

So, too, in many other mitzvahs. Like hearing the shofar on Rosh Hashanah, sitting in the sukkah on Sukkot, studying Torah and more. A man must do these things. Women take it on voluntarily. Most of prayer is this way as well: Women have a minimal requirement in prayer, with no obligation to get to the minyan. What men are required to do, women take on voluntarily.

A man conquers, therefore G‑d deals with him by conquering by commanding him to do. A woman carries the world upward spontaneously, from within. Therefore, her mitzvahs come as a natural response, from within.

In existential terms: there is Doing and there is Being. The man is about the causative — making something be. The woman is about being and discovering that which is.

Oppression and Liberation

So the whole of Torah can be summarized as a unity, harmony and synthesis of these two cosmic forces: the masculine and the feminine. Until now, the feminine side has been derided, but that is changing. Until today, it was just obvious that muscle power, fighting wars, conquering the world and massacring the enemy was so much more glorious than creating and nurturing life.

Oy! A flashing memory! Fourth Grade. Old Mrs. Macdonald teaching history. Laura Brown asks, "But weren’t there any great women in history?"

"Of course!" answers Mrs. M. "There was Joan of Arc! And Queen Elizabeth! And Catherine the Great!"

Why were they great? Because they fought wars, like men. (True, the Bible tells of a woman named Devorah who told the warrior, Barak, to make battle with the oppressor. But when Barak demanded that Devorah come along, boy did she give it to him over the head.)

Still today, many women cling to the notion that liberation means the privilege to act like a man. As Timothy Leary put it, such women lack ambition.

"In the messianic era," the Kabbalists tell us, "the feminine will rise much higher than the masculine." That attitude has already begun to emerge, as feminine energy becomes an increasingly valued element of our society. And only once it is valued can there be a meaningful synthesis of the male and female paradigms.

Take our shul for example. The place is in desperate need of feminine values. The men have forgotten how to pray. They’ve lost contact with the feminine inside them. But the last thing we need is for women to take it over. Because then, two things will happen:

1) The men will leave it up to the women and we’ll never see them again.

2) The women will get into all the technicalities of the synagogue prayer protocol and become like men.

It’s like working with fire and water: Put them together, and all you get is a lot of steam and big fizz. Either fire wins, or water, or neither. But keep each in its place with a utensil in between — the water in the pot and the fire under it — and now we’re cooking.

The Real Question

So what is a woman supposed to do? I’m getting to that, but I still haven’t explained what prayer really is.

I want to ask you seriously: Did you ever really think that

prayer books + ten men + shul + Torah reading = prayer ?

The Torah does not discuss a man and a woman as two distinct entities, but as a single wholeIf so, I’ve got news for you: I can teach you how to chant the entire Torah in perfect tune and all the shul protocol of who gets shishi and which haftarah to read. I can teach you the kaddish, the kedushah and barchu too. I can teach you the entire prayer book, including the meaning of each word and every prayer — and I haven’t taught you the first thing about prayer. Because prayer simply can't be taught. Prayer is not something you do. Prayer is something you have to be. Like King David says over and over in his prayers, "I am a prayer."

So what’s the whole liturgy thing about? It’s all about setting the table. About which dishes go out first and which second and third and where you put the little forks and where you put the big forks and all those very important details. But if there’s no chili-con-kosher to serve, all that pretty china and silverware is going to look awful lonesome.

Or, back to our original context: All those words and ceremonies are about bringing spiritual energies down to earth. The sages and prophets who composed them knew exactly what needs to be brought down and in what order. But if nobody climbs up there and flips a switch to begin with (i.e., pours out their soul to the One Above), we’ll be milking a dry cow.

The System

Now let me explain how the system works:

The Torah never says, "Thou shalt pray." But it does say to "serve G‑d with all your heart." How do you serve G‑d will your heart? "Simple!" the sages say. "Pray to Him."

Meaning that when your heart bursts with pain, pour it out to Him. When it yearns, speak to Him about that which you yearn for. When your heart is broken, ask Him to mend it. When your heart feels empty, ask Him to fill it. Wherever your heart is at, whatever it is being, connect that to His Being. Make your heart His sanctuary, the place where you find Him.

This is the essential aspect of prayer, where we make no distinctions of time, place or gender. Every heart can be a sanctuary, any time, any place.

Where we do make a distinction is as follows: Men are told, "Do this sanctuary thing together with us in our sanctuary at these prescribed times with all these words before and after. That way, just as your heart becomes a sanctuary, so we will have a general sanctuary for all our community, to propel all our prayers upward and grant those blessings a safe landing."

Women are told, "Be a sanctuary. Be that at least twice a day. Be that in our shul or elsewhere, with all the words before and after or without them, with us or without us. But your thing is not the institution, not the protocol. Leave the men to their domain and take yours."

A simile to sculpture: There is art created by painting onto a canvas. And there is art created by chiseling away at stone. So, too, the man’s prayer is created through his duties to attend, while a woman’s prayer is preserved by her restriction to not be wrapped up in the protocol.

After all, what are all those words before and after prayer all about? They were put there to bring men to a state of prayer similar to the state that Chana prayed in. The men must say them, but for a woman, it is up to her to decide if she needs them.

And what’s the time and place of the shul all about? Because that is the man's thing: To draw the spiritual down into time and space. Leave us to what we do best; we have some redeeming qualities after all. Leave us to our job to draw the light of the Shechinah down to earth. You do your thing: To be the Shechinah. To discover that inside yourself.

Think of it: With all the wonderful things we have to say about the time of prayer in the shul, that it is a time when all the glory of heaven is revealed and the portals of Infinite Light opened wide, when prayers can shoot upwards and blessings pour down; nevertheless, the woman is told that if she is caring for a child, she should skip the whole thing. We find Abraham following a similar logic when he excused himself from a private interview with G‑d in order to take care of his guests. Because, after all, what is the point of coming to receive the Shechinah when you can be the Shechinah?

Sometimes, you need a spiritual boost. Sometimes, you need to join with others to get there. But standing in the ladies’ gallery and singing along with a nice chazzan doesn’t always cut it.

So some women get together on the new moon or once a week to study and sing and dance together. It’s not really an innovation, but it works for us today. The women who do it will tell you it works wonders. They don’t need the trappings and protocol of the shul. They just need their souls and their voices. Perhaps their high will spill over into our shul and lift us up, as well.

The Unauthorized Prayer

Perhaps in this way, we can explain another fascinating puzzle: Chana’s prayer, the paradigm of all prayers, was a prayer for a child. Look through your entire prayer book, you won’t find a prescribed prayer to ask for a child. For health, for wealth, for rain, for dew, for wisdom, for redemption, for justice — for everything else. But not for a child.

Torah can be summarized as a unity, harmony and synthesis of these two cosmic forces: the masculine and the feminineThere are some beautiful prayers to ask for a child. They won’t be found in the standard prayer book, however. They were composed by women in their mother tongue and they are the most heartfelt prayers there are. But no respected rabbi would dare meddle in this domain — the domain of the woman, who brings life into being. And no one would dare prescribe the words to say and the order to say them. Because in the woman’s world, prayer comes from inside and pours outward.

Her Voice Yet To Come

There remains one burning question: If woman is the essence of prayer and song, why is she silent? Where is her creativity and inspiration? Where is her song? Fine, she won’t be part of the protocol management. But why can’t her voice and presence be an inspiration in the shul?

As far as the separation for the purpose of prayer, that is something eternal. It has always been this way, and it must always be so. It was this way in the Temple in Jerusalem. Because it is Torah, and Torah is eternally true.7 The power of male and female is sustained by their separation at times such as these. Even if men were not distracted from their prayers by the presence of women, even if it were possible for them to cry and speak candidly to their Creator, the energies and their directions simply don’t mix. Even when Isaac and Rebecca prayed for a child, the sages tell us that Rebecca prayed in one corner of the room, and Isaac in the other.8

But when it comes to a woman’s voice, there is a deeper perspective to all this: This is galut. Exile. The Shechinah is in captivity, not in her place. The Shechinah is ignored and despised. And she is quiet there. But in the world-yet-to-come, the messianic era that we are poised to enter, then we will hear, "Once again in the cities of Judah and the streets of Jerusalem, the voice of joy and the voice of rejoicing, the voice of the groom and the voice of the bride."9

The Shechinah will sing once again.10

Footnotes

Pri Etz Chaim, Rabbi Chaim Vital, page 1.

Numbers 8:3.

Rashi comments that they were not accustomed to praying out loud then. I’ve interpreted this as a sign of decadence. In fact, the story goes on to tell of the decadent acts of Eli’s sons as Kohanim, which lead to the eventual destruction of Shiloh and the Tabernacle. An alternative interpretation is also possible: that praying quietly was a result of a decrease in holiness. To understand what I mean, see the excerpt from Likutei Torah at the end of these notes.

In Likutei Sichot volume XX, page x, the Lubavitcher Rebbe gives a deeper explanation. (See Chana’s Prayer by this author.) He explains that Eli understood prayer as a spiritual service, while asking for material things, such as a child, was a form of drunkenness. This is complementary to my much simpler explanation here.

Genesis 1:27.

For the whole megilla on this, see the Lubavitcher Rebbe’s talk on Shabbat Parshat Noach, 5751. The concept is based on the Arizal's explanation of the mitzvah to be fruitful and multiply in Ta’amai Hamitzvot.

See Igrot Moshe, volume 1, siman 39.

See Rashi, Genesis 25:21.

Jeremiah 33:10-11.

10.

Just to prove I didn't make up all this stuff, I've brought you one of the most striking and indeed revolutionary passages from the classic work, Likutei Torah, a collection of lengthy meditations (maamarim) of Rabbi Schneur Zalman of Liadi, 1745-1812. Note that the terms, "groom" and "bride" refer to the masculine and feminine elements of the cosmos.
This is from Shir HaShirim 48b (for a proper understanding, the entire ma’amar, Al Kol Kvod Chupah, should be studied):

This is the inner meaning of the verse, "A woman of valor will be the crown of her husband": that the feminine element will shine a delightful, secret light of the Hidden Mind ...

This is also why in the last two blessings of the marriage ceremony, we first say that, "He rejoices the groom and the bride—placing the groom before the bride—but then conclude, "He rejoices the groom with the bride," implying that the groom’s rejoicing is of secondary significance to the bride’s.

This is because now the bride receives from the groom, but in the time yet to come, they will be equal in their stature with a single crown as it was before the moon was diminished.

So, too, we say, "Once again will be heard in the cities of Judah and in the streets of Jerusalem ... the voice of the groom and the voice of the bride." For in the future, the bride will also have a voice. A voice reveals the hidden thoughts and emotions. In this case, we mean to say that the inner light of the feminine will come outward and be revealed. For then, as we said, "A woman of valour will be the crown of her husband," even beyond the groom ...

Therefore, in our time, prayer is said quietly, since the bride does not yet have a voice because presently the realm of Divine speech has no significance before the higher realms of thought and emotion, as a woman is treated as secondary to her husband. But in the time-yet-to-come, after all is purified and healed, when the Hidden Mind of Delight and Consciousness will be revealed, then the bride will have a great voice without limitation. We will say the Shmoneh Esreh prayer in a loud voice. The sefira of Malchut will be dominant:"A woman of valor will be the crown of her husband."

As it is known that in the 10 sefirot of the Returning Light, Malchut becomes Ketter (the Crown) and Yesod (which now is the dominant influence of Malchut) will become Chochma (Wisdom).

By Tzvi Freeman

Tzvi Freeman is the author of Bringing Heaven Down to Earth and, more recently, Wisdom to Heal the Earth. Subscribe to The Daily Dose of Wisdom and Freeman Files for regular updates.

Artwork by Sarah Kranz.

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204 Comments

Hunter April 8, 2023

This was a thoughtful article, raising many interesting points. However, I found your explanation of why women are silent at the end unsatisfactory. How exactly is the Shechinah in captivity, ignored and despised? How can an aspect of God be subjected to captivity? What you wrote at the end there seems to contradict much of what you wrote about the Shechinah in the earlier parts of the essay. If the Shechinah is despised, why do men go through all these intricate rituals to try to bring it down to Earth? If women can discover it inside themselves, would allowing them to sing and express themselves not help free it?

Moreover, you haven't answered how exactly the synagogue should acquire the feminine values it so desperately needs, if not through the voices and input of actual women. It doesn't have to be through their predominating participation, but a group of men deciding what those feminine values are just doesn't sit right with me. Reply

Sarah December 29, 2023

in response to Hunter:

Also just because one is not required to do something, does not mean one should not do something! Reply

Anonymous NJ May 31, 2022

This piece is beyond phenomenal.
Also, as my father always says, quoting Paul Johnson in his book, A History of the Jews, "The Jewish feminists are angry at the wrong religion."
Meaning, the center of Judaism is the Jewish home. Always has been, always will be.
When someone wants to keep Judaism, we tell them there are 3 main mitzvas: Shabbos, Kashrus (keeping kosher) and Taharas Mishpacha (Family Purity, Mikva). All three stem in the Jewish home, under the Jewish woman, who is the Akeres Habayis, the foundation of the Jewish home.
(We don't say, Tefilin, reading from the Torah and giving a speech. ) Reply

Keren May 31, 2022

in response to Anonymous :

When referring to Jewish feminists are you referring to religious Jewish feminists or secular Jewish feminists? I ask because secular Jewish feminists don’t know what it is to belong to or maintain a Jewish home. The only Judaism they know is what they experience at a shul and that tends to be more male oriented. If that’s all they know and they’re told they can’t participate the way men can, you can see how they might get the wrong idea. Reply

Aviva Miriam Patt Chicago via jewishbucktown.com June 1, 2022

in response to Anonymous :

You exalt the home as the center of Judaism as though that should be enough for a woman. That we should not only be satisfied by it but consider it an honor to be excluded from roles outside of the home. I don't want to be a foundation upholding rules made/interpreted by men. I want to be a full human being with a voice that can be heard everywhere. Reply

Helena Schwartz September 22, 2023

in response to Anonymous :

The center of Judaism is and will always be G-d. Women have less requirements because we were faithful in the desert. We didn't give into the lies of the spies or make idols. Men at the helm didn't seem to turn out so well. Reply

sarah kranz Virginia October 25, 2021

@Tzvi Freeman - Where is the source for this:
"In fact, the sages were so enamored with Chana’s prayer, they composed the Amidah (also called Shmoneh Esreh or "Eighteen Blessings"—the mainstay Jewish prayer) using 113 words for all the blessings, just because there were 113 words in Chana’s prayer." Reply

Suzy Kent, UK September 9, 2021

Thank you, this article is fabulous. As a Christian proud of her Jewish roots I find I am in tune with this, though I have to admit that I have always been honoured when asked to read from the Bible, and I therefore understand how it could feel frustrating not to be able to read a Torah portion, though the reading and discussion at home can give a very rounded view of it and provide an added perspective for all family members involved. I would have loved to have been involved in this myself, but the Jewish family connection was lost when I was young (really when my great grandfather died when I was two, as my grandmother was unwell and visited rarely, passing away when I was 9), and I have never lived close enough to attend a shul. Chabad is my lifeline, and articles like this are an inspiration. Reply

Helayne August 23, 2022

in response to Suzy:

I am a little confused by you saying you re a Christian and then stating Chabad is your lifeline. How are you able to combine the two when in fact they are diametrically opposed in my thinking. Reply

Ana Medina January 18, 2021

Tzvi, don't be afraid. Shechinah was voluntarily taken by the enemies of Hashem in order to protect the Creation, from which men are part. She is oppressed by her principles, silenced by her own heart. But also by hurt. Fear is the ultimate enemy as G-d can make miracles happen. If she could, she would be right there with you at the Shul. But because she can't, maybe she sent a messenger. Listen to the call. Reply

Avigayil Boston January 19, 2021

in response to Ana Medina:

Ana... where did you learn that? Reply

Keren October 14, 2020

This piece is beautiful (in both style and content). Thank you for writing it. Unfortunately, it does not resonate with me. That may be because I am a secular Jewish woman who grew up in the United States where we learned that separate was not always equal. That a woman, hidden away at home, often had no voice and no power. As you note, feminine attributes were not traditionally appreciated in society. To gain power for themselves, women took on more masculine roles. Once they succeeded, they made space for femininity.

You note that feminine energy is beginning to emerge. How much of that do you think is because secular women fought like men for the right to be respected as women? How much of that secular social change has filtered through to the Chabad community? The few Chabad women with whom I've had the pleasure of speaking are happy and confident with their roles in life. But I also notice that some are lawyers and judges, roles not traditionally permitted to religious women. Reply

Saul FC October 15, 2020

in response to Keren:

Just to point out: In Judaism, "feminine" and "masculine" energy do NOT equate to human gender.

This is something completely different.

So comments about women fighting like men or becoming more like men in order to achieve more feminine energy in society are not meaningful in this context, and confuse the issues. Additionally, they are assumptions about what "male" and "female" means in modern society and governed entirely by your past experiences, which are not shared by everyone else.

Further, if "women" act like "men" as you mentioned, how could that ever achieve more feminine energy?? It cannot, by definition. Reply

Avigayil Boston October 21, 2020

in response to Keren:

To Keren... I see and think the same things. It was the secular “women’s lib movement” that created appreciation of & freedoms for women - even among the Torah community. That’s a fact.
And that once women have more power, they use that power to promote all areas of “women’s concerns.” Fact.

I think that what seems strange to us both is that this secular movement helped promote God’s will and plan. Right?

So I personally take from that, that God really does control the whole world. And that Jews benefit from the efforts of humanity. Even the non-religious parts.

And where’s the surprise? God has always blessed us via secular advances. The internet. Bridges and roads. Advances in medicine and psychology. Maybe the surprise is that feminism is intellectual? Still, God is the god of all.

As a direct result of the secular, the airplane raised our standards for travel... and secular feminism raised our standards in Torah life. And both are now recognized as superior. B”H! Reply

Sh'va BenYacov Richmond, VA January 25, 2021

in response to Keren:

In the Beginning, The Holy One (Blessed be He), created them male and female. If human-kind was created as two distinct entities, both with different physiology, then it is obvious that both have different roles to play within the nation of Israel.

We have survived as Jews... nothing short of a miracle over the discourse of time. Our tradition is based upon Torah and several manifold components. Women are not men, and men are not women. אמת

Womens' rights are legitimate, but the issues arise when women or men step outside of the natural order of creation and begin to take on roles outside of G-d's design.

No, this is not a place for the unnatural. And we remember what happened when the Greek Hellenists tried to infiltrate Eretz Yisrael, along with every other civilization! Time and time again we have been warned by HaShem to "not be like other nations."

If we do, then the deterioration of Israel and "Her" (Yes, her as in feminine form Hebrew for Israel) role would be at peril. Reply

Keren October 16, 2020

in response to Saul:

Thank you for your response. I'm not sure I understand the distinction between masculine and feminine energy vs gender when it seems to be the basis for the different physical roles men and women take on. Did the article not discuss both? Is there something I can read to help me understand?

Regarding women acting like men to take on more traditional male roles, I can only speak to the different male/female roles I see in secular society. Women had to act like men to become doctors, lawyers, accountants, politicians etc. But now that we have those roles, we also insist on acceptance of more traditional female concerns.

Regarding my experiences, I agree that they are not shared by "everyone" else but are pretty common in the secular community. I've read a lot of comments to Chabad writings and many female commentators push back because they are looking at things from a more secular perspective. I tried to explain the disconnect that I feel. Reply

Keren October 25, 2020

in response to Avigayil :

Thank you for your understanding Avigayil! I agree with your message! Whatever improves society, it is all God.

Regarding man's role in the shul, I get that men need to be commanded to do certain things at certain times while women do not. I even understand why women would not want to do those things they are not obligated to do. However, for those women who do want to take on extra obligations, I don't understand the basis for prohibiting them from doing so. Does it somehow implicate the man's ability to fulfill his obligations if he sees women wearing teffilin? What is so crazy about a group of women getting together (in a room separate from the men) on Shabbat and reading the Torah? Why is there so much argument about this? Reply

Rochel Chein for chabad.org October 28, 2020

in response to Keren:

Hi Keren,

In many cases, one can perform a mitzvah that they are not obligated to do, and doing so is praiseworthy. Sometimes though there is a specific issue with doing this. For example, see Why Don't Women Wear Tefillin at www.chabad.org/2475996 Reply

Avigayil Boston October 29, 2020

in response to Keren:

Karen...One of my Chabad rabbis grew up in yeshiva in NY and knew an older, very pious widow there who had davened with tefillin for years. He just assumed that her rabbi had approved. So there are situations in which it makes sense for a woman to "be strict with herself" and take on this mitzvah. But tefillin is a big commitment. For me, after a lot of study, a lot of thought, a lot of time to let it all simmer, and then repeating the process all over again... I decided that tefillin was not my next step. The Rebbe said that women have a lot that they should be studying. I believe it is the Rambam who says that if the study does not challenge you at your own personal level, if it's not difficult (which for a lot of women totally rules out all women's Torah classes), then you have not fulfilled the mitzvah. Getting into appropriate classes has been all the "radical" pushing against the grain that I had the emotional strength to do. Thank God that with covid classes are now online. Reply

Keren November 3, 2020

in response to Rochel Chein for chabad.org:

Thanks Rochel. I read the article. It seems to be an explanation of why women don't wear Tefilin but isn't so firm that women should not wear Tefilin. For every reason why women don't wear Tefilin, the author finds an exception. Re: it being male dress the author states, "Accordingly, this prohibition alone would not be sufficient reason for women to refrain from doing this mitzvah." Re: excessive piety, "However, it is not clear that this reason would apply to those who wish to do so in the privacy of their own homes." Re: cleanliness, "it would mean voluntarily positioning themselves to perhaps wear tefillin in an inappropriate state." Compared to the times of the month where she would be in an appropriate state (i.e. the times of the month that she is not menstruating or has gone through menopause). The author then provides potential examples of women who did wear tefillin but concludes it's so rare that that's why women don't/can't? wear tefillin. Reply

Keren January 25, 2021

in response to Sh'va BenYacov:

Thanks Sh'va. I guess my question is what's a man's role and what's a woman's? Traditionally, in secular culture, women did not work. The common perception was that men are intellectual while women are emotional. Complete financial dependence on a man resulted in a lot of abuse. In response, women pushed to be educated and work in more lucrative, traditional male roles such as doctors, lawyers and judges. By bringing feminine energy into these roles, women are able to advocate and help other women.

My understanding is that the orthodox community also believes men are more intellectual and women emotional; that it is not a woman's nature to be a lawyer or judge. However there are examples in the Torah of women as judges and advocates. Re: wearing a tallit or tfellin, I understand women are not obligated to perform these mitsvahs but there's nothing prohibiting them from doing it either. The Torah provides clear boundaries and obligation for men in Torah but not for women. Reply

Avigayil Chana Boston, MA June 24, 2019

When it comes to mitzvos and gender differences... I just can't get a certain story that I heard in Tanya class to stop echoing in my head... It goes like this: A rebbe warned his son that he was absolutely forbidden to even open a certain book of advanced Chassidus, far too advanced for his son... But one day there was a fire, and the book was lost. So the rebbe called his son to come immediately, and quickly dictate to his father everything that was written in the book, so he could save the Chassidus. His son was surprised, saying he did not read it, and he reminded his father that he had forbidden him to even open the book. To which his father was shocked and exclaimed, "What kind of chossid are you?" Reply

Anonymous FC June 25, 2019

in response to Avigayil Chana:

Silly story, and not related to this topic, I'm afraid. Further to imply that a true Chassid would betray his father and rebbe's orders is hate speech at best. Reply

Avigayil Chana Boston August 8, 2019

in response to Anonymous:

It’s a true story. In my rabbi’s words (I had some details wrong):

It was after a fire in the Alter Rebbe's house, a booklet of manuscripts of chassidus was lost. He asked his son, the Mitteler Rebbe, if he had made a copy of it. He answered, but you had written on it that "nobody had permission to read this, not in this world and not in the world to come." To which the AR replied muttering, "where is your mesiras nefesh for chassidus?" Reply

Yael June 20, 2019

There doesn't seem to be much room in your world-view for women who are, for whatever reason, not married. Or for women and men who don't fit comfortably into stereotypical views of femininity and masculinity. The single most nurturing person I have ever known was a man. And there are women who abuse and neglect their children. How do you think those children will react when you tell them that all women are nurturing?

'G‑d says, "Wrap on those tefillin!" He is speaking to the whole Adam. But which arm do those tefillin go on? On the left arm of the male half of the single male-female body. After all, why should one body wear two pairs of tefillin?' I stopped reading after that. Not because of the tefillin part, but because I have a body. Not half of a body. I am a person. Not half of a person. Reply

Tzvi Freeman June 23, 2019

in response to Yael:

It’s a shame you stopped reading. It’s important especially today for people with conflicting positions to hear each other out, even if they continue to disagree.

If you had continued you would see my explanation (which is from Zohar and the Arizal) that every person has another half somewhere in the universe, whether they meet up or not.

But further than that: What you describe is the existential loneliness of modern man and woman. I haven’t let go of the tribal attitude, that we are all incomplete without all others, for all the world is a single whole. We need to return to that today. It will heal a lot of anxiety and madness. Reply

Anonymous FC June 25, 2019

in response to Yael:

Tefillin go on the left arm because it is closest to the heart, no other reason....sorry you didn't know that. Further, what is this "whole Adam" silliness? The Torah makes it very clear that there are Women and Men, not a "whole Adam"...in fact, Adam isn't whole at all! That is why there is feminine and masculine energies. Reply

Yael June 24, 2019

in response to Tzvi Freeman:

Considering I’d disagreed w much of what you’d said before that, I feel no guilt for stopping reading when I did.

Yes, we need community; we are we are incomplete without our tribe. I’m with you on that.

But the idea (which I was already familiar with) that every person has “another half somewhere in the universe”? How depressing! I can’t think of anything that would exacerbate my existential loneliness more than to believe that I can never be a complete person without connecting to some specific person somewhere out there in this vast universe.

Shavua tov. Reply

Tzvi Freeman June 25, 2019

in response to Yael:

So how do we determine truth? Is truth whatever best assuages our existential angst? Or do the wisdom-teachings of our sages play into the search as well? Can we pick and choose according to our taste?

In this case, the teaching is repeated many times, in Talmud, in Zohar and in later rabbinic writings: Each of us is only half a person. Some will marry their other half. For some, taught the Arizal, the other half never even entered the world this time around.

The idea is clearly there in Genesis: The first human being was male and female as one.

I am not saying that you must blindly accept the authority of tradition. If you have support for your rejection of the tradition, present it. But "how depressing" is not an argument of reason. Reply

Yael August 7, 2019

in response to Anonymous:

I like the idea that tefillin go on the left arm so they’re closest to the heart. Unfortunately, it’s not true for lefties. They wear them on their right arm. Reply

Ariel B Texas December 25, 2018

So if the primary reason a woman's obligations should be placed with her home is the burden of child-rearing, then what of a woman who is infertile? Or a woman whose children are already grown and out of the home? Or a transgender woman unable to bear children? If a woman doesn't have children taking up her time, then she should be free to perform "masculine" rituals that apparently are too great a trial otherwise. Reply

Tzvi Freeman Los Angeles December 30, 2018

in response to Ariel B:

This is a very good point, Ariel, and I think it points once again to a vital point I attempted to make here. That is, that G-d doesn't give anyone a "nebuch mission." G-d doesn't say, "Unfortunately, I couldn't fit you in on the big stuff where you really belong, but I've still got this parenting job left over."

Rather, G-d says, "For men, that's the big stuff. That's what's fulfilling for them. For you, nurturing life is the big stuff. For you, nurturing is more fulfilling than conquering."

That applies equally to those women who, for whatever reason, are not able to bear children—or who are past the stage of raising children. It's G-d who made things that way., so it must be that the nurturing instinct of these women has some other place where it is crucially needed, and within which these women will be fulfilled.

One thing with certainty, there is no surplus of feminine nurture in the world. Every ounce added makes the world a more peaceful place. Reply

Avigayil Chana Boston August 9, 2019

in response to Tzvi Freeman:

There’s an ever-growing increase in infertility, years ago 25% of couples sought help. Which shows change in the women’s role. Using your words immediately above about the woman’s “nurturing instinct” - “there must be some other place where it is crucially needed”. And apparently that place is in the men’s realm. Because that’s the only “other place.” Reply

Anonymous Trinidad September 20, 2018

Great article.
It demistifies the current notion, that we need to be all inclusive to be sustainable.

I have learnt from this article that by honouring our roles we bring meaning to life.

Everyone is made in his image and likeness and is created to transend ourselves into what the Almight has created us to be.

We dont need to live someone elses life to live a meaningful life.

Thanks for the clarity and for helping raise my thoughts to a higher place. Reply

Sheiny Dembrin Passaic May 18, 2018

For anyone who thinks that Judaism places the women second class, go to TheRebbe.org > Multimedia > Video > Living Torah > Archives > Disc 75 > Program Two Hundred Ninety Seven. There, the Rebbe speaks about what the Torah means when Hashem tells Moshe, “Go speak to the House of Jacob,” and only afterwards, “Tell the Children of Israel.” The sages explain that the “House of Jacob” means the women. Go, yes go and watch the video. And then come back and reread the article and see what you think. And yes, I’m a woman! And, in response to Jakub, the sages say (in Pirkei Avos) “a bashful cannot learn.” Why? Because he is afraid to ask questions. Reply

Michelle J Sioux Falls, SD November 14, 2017

I love how you responded to this very pointed question. What a fantastic and inspiring response. Thank you. Yes, sometimes as a woman I too feel left out, but thankful that G-d knows my limits...children, husband, household. He must actually think a lot of women NOT to require so much of our limited time. No, He entrusted us with our children, that we may spend holy time, moment by moment, in raising them with a love of all things holy. What a job that is! HaShem is with me at all times, in all the mundane things in my day. I feel Him always. Thank you again for this...I'm saving it when I need inspiration for the future! :) Reply

Anthony August 3, 2019

in response to Michelle J:

Limits A rather limited vision to think you have limits.
Hope one day you may realize how things are imposed on you.
Men may also like to take care of their children, spouse, household. Allowing everyone to be what he/she is most happy with and can make others most happy with is truly divine. Reply

Anonymous Boca Raton, FL November 7, 2017

Beautiful explanation. I have no problem with the spiritual role of women and do not want my religion "rewritten" according to the principles of secular political correctness. However, as a believer in the separation of church (or in this case, "shul") and state, I would not want to live in a society that denied me the same human and legal rights as men. Reply

Avigayil December 3, 2018

in response to Anonymous:

Amen to that. Reply

Avraham Nahoumi Massachusetts November 6, 2017

Women's role in Judaism I believe that men and women should sit in separate areas of the synagogue when praying so that they do not get distracted by members of the opposite sex. However, I feel that women must be able to lead a service and fully participate in the prayers in the same manner as men. Thus a bat-mitzvah girl should be called up to the Torah and be able to recite the blessings and chant the haftarah in the same manner as a bar mitzvah boy. Women should also be able to be orthodox rabbis. Granted that there may be some sexual distraction if women fully participate in the service, but this is the twenty first century. (Even in ancient times, Devorah and Miriam had positions of leadership.) Reply

Anonymous Southeastern PA November 7, 2017

in response to Avraham Nahoumi:

"I feel that..." Immediately, I think we will be in trouble with such an analysis.

If a woman were, for whatever reason, obligated by all time-related commandments, davening shachariyth, min'chah, and ma'ariyv, donning tefilin, etc., then she could perform a time-related commandment such as aliyoth on behalf of others (men) who are also obligated by time-related commandments.

If not, if she is doing this simply on a whim, then her performance of the commandment does not relieve others (men) of their obligation, and they would need to recite her aliyah again after she steps down.

It is that simple. That is the halakhah, and it does not change depending on what Christian century we may be in.

We should not yield to the Christian view that religion takes place in a house of worship. The vital Torah commandments of Shabath and kash'ruth are supervised in the home, by the wife. Reciting the Torah is a more recent innovation. Reply

Deborah Ademola May 27, 2018

in response to Avraham Nahoumi:

"However, I feel that women must be able to lead a service and fully participate in the prayers in the same way as men."

Later, you quote Miriam, who led women in prayer. Women are allowed to lead women and children in prayer and Torah teaching. They may also now attend yeshivot for women to study more Torah. It is true that the Orthodox world has placed far less emphasis-- has even discouraged-- religious study for women, but that is changing (see other articles on The Jewish women section).

You also require other things: reading from a Sefer, chanting Haftarah, and becoming a Rabbi. What Biblical basis and Halakhic ruling would support this? Dvora had a position of leadership, but she was not the equivalent of a Levite or a Kohen, nor was she a tribal leader. Again, Miriam led the Jewish women in song-- not the Jewish men. Where is there a consistent example of Jewish women operating in the SAME religious capacity as men in Tanakh? Reply

Avigayil December 3, 2018

in response to Anonymous:

You refer to kavanah and a thirst to serve Gd and do mitzvos as “a whim”? Really? That’s not Torah. Both men and women have become obligated in several mitzvos due to that “whim” that you wrongly disrespect. And there are MANY mitzvos observed by BOTH genders that are fully optional.

Avraham built three alters in his life. The third was not required of him. You’d say it was just a whim. But unlike you, God said it was the greatest of the three. And for one reason. Because it was not required.

Go and study deeper. Reply

Anonymous Sout December 4, 2018

in response to Avigayil :

Insults betray an unsound, misleading, anti-halakhic claim I have studied deeper. I have studied halakhah. You should do the same and refrain from insults. It does not advance your argument.

Torah obligates men regarding certain commandments in which women are not obligated. That is a fact.

It is also a fact that one cannot perform a commandment on behalf of another who is obligated in that commandment unless the first party is similarly obligated. FACT.

All Jews have the opportunity to voluntarily take on additional observances for a period of time - even one time. If they cease those voluntary observances, no law has been broken.

Therefore the person taking on voluntary observances cannot perform a commandment on behalf of a person who is obliged to perform the commandment. Reply

Avigayil Boston December 11, 2018

in response to Anonymous:

You think in terms of obligation. That’s the error. Obligation is male. Optional is female. Men were obligated to give a half shekel. Women could optionally give the various vessels. This is a consistent theme. And this is pure Torah.

Do not rewrite the Torah to say that only obligatory mitzvos count.

Do not take a post about the validity of optional mitzvos and twist it into a different topic - whether one can perform on behalf of another. I said nothing about that, so NO you didn’t win any debate here. Reply

Anonymous Rochester, NY November 4, 2017

wow...I"m almost speechless...this article is TRUE...I feel an AMN deep within...thankyou for 'listening' to the AM (aleph-mem), the feminine aspect of YaHUaH...for giving voice to these truths. Reply

Deborah Ademola October 30, 2017

A very lively and enriching read this morning. Very well put, Rabbi. The roles of men and women are designed for the glory of the Almighty, and to reflect his nature. They go beyond the expectations and confines of society. Reply

Lorena Hendersoville, Tn July 21, 2017

Great explanation. Thank you for sharing. Reply

Avigayil Chana Boston November 16, 2016

Re. Jakub (below) saying that we shouldn't question things Re. Jakub below saying that we should not question things in Torah, seeking rational reasons behind them. That is 99% false. The entire Gemara and responsa from rabbi's, even the Shulchan Aruch - are all about the rabbi's questioning just about everything. That's what Jews DO.

Torah is very gender-based. Asking questions is not an attack against a frail and frightened Torah. Just the opposite - Torah beckons us to ask. Torah waits and waits for us to ask, learn, discuss. This how we draw near to God. A person who never asks why is missing out on so much!!

And since Torah is so gender-based, since gender is a primary way that Gd has chosen to reveal Himself to us, seems to me that Torah is strong enough to field our questions, and will have only good things to say in response. This is all about Hashem, afterall. So fear not & ask away. Reply

תלמידה חכמה ארץ ישראל April 18, 2021

in response to Avigayil Chana :

Well said. Thank you. Reply

Jakub Kielecki Warsaw November 16, 2016

Reason was one of the prettiest gifts from Hashem to Adam. Yet putting reason above Torah is idolatry. Some try to rationalise on why we can't eat pork. That's the Torah way, and that's it. The main error of the reform movement is the rationalisation of the Torah. There's no rational reason for the Torah! If there were, atheists would all convert to judaism! Either you accept Torah as your heritage, or you don't. If you don't, then you can have shabbat at sundays or don't have at all, or be a buddist or whatever's the trend, or have women and men mixed during service. Instead of striving to fit yourself into Torah, you take the easy way and change Torah to fit whatever you like. Reply

Avraham Nahoumi U.S.A. April 18, 2016

Equality of women Even in ancient times we had Devorah Haneviah who was equivalent to a chief justice of the supreme court today. We had Miriam Haneviah, the older sister of Moshe, who was also influential. Since we could have impressive women in ancient times, it is even more appropriate that we should permit them to be leaders today along with men today. We should also count them in minyanim.

Sincerely,
Avraham Nahoumi

P.S. We had a female prime minister in Israel- Golda Meir Reply

Janice Thoman Tyner, Kentucky August 23, 2023

in response to Avraham Nahoumi:

I agree with you! Reply

An Answer to the Controversy

Question:

Answer:

A Brief, Skip-it-if-you-like, Introduction to Change Versus Adaptation

Back to the Question

Organized Religion

Traffic Control

Bipolar Order

Two Hemispheres

Oppression and Liberation

The Real Question

The System

The Unauthorized Prayer

Her Voice Yet To Come

More in this section

Join the Discussion

Preschool

Boys School

Girls School

Question:

Answer:

A Brief, Skip-it-if-you-like, Introduction to Change Versus Adaptation

Back to the Question

Organized Religion

Traffic Control

Bipolar Order

Two Hemispheres

Oppression and Liberation

The Real Question

The System

The Unauthorized Prayer

Her Voice Yet To Come

More in this section

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Join the Discussion

Preschool

Boys School

Girls School